Sharing my fertility journey over the years changed my life

The psychological benefits of sharing my fertility journey with people have been outstanding. Infertility can be extremely isolating and it can be really embarrassing to share intimate details. However, when I shared about my path through infertility, I started thinking of my story less like “my infertility journey” and more like “my fertility journey.” 

The switch in those two words was so important because it helped me see that I was making progress towards getting pregnant and not just stuck in this never-ending cycle that wouldn’t end up with me holding my baby in my arms. 

Sharing with you throughout the time that I was struggling was so cathartic for me because I was able to connect with others that were going through the same thing. I learned things I didn’t know from people that had already gone through the process. AND I realized that each time I talked about my journey, I was in a new place and I had made new progress. 

Too many people feel like they are spinning their wheels while trying to figure out their infertility. Too many people have a hard time reflecting on their journey and seeing the progress that has been made. And too many people are told there is no hope for them, when there in fact might be key changes to make to improve their fertility, 

It’s no secret that I’m not struggling any more. I am currently almost 20 weeks pregnant and THRILLED to be meeting my baby girl so soon. But I don’t know what the future holds and I don’t know how easy it will be to conceive a sibling for my baby girl. That is why continuing to share my journey and remembering the good that has come out of it IS SO CRUCIAL to my mental well being. 

I am also inside a career and a world where I am listening to and helping people deal with their own fertility issues. I have to keep the faith for them as well and I have to help them see that there is a way out of the madness. I have to keep my clients going and working on their health to improve their fertility. 

You don’t have to share yours, but I am going to share mine (the full, start-to-finish story - for the first time!) to hopefully bring peace and hope to those who can identify. 

I thought it would be easy

I remember so well, I was leaving a tennis camp reunion telling all of my lifelong friends, “next year, when I return, I will have a baby!” 

My husband and I planned to start trying for a baby immediately after this tennis camp reunion in August 2020. The week that I got home, I had an appointment with my OB to remove my IUD and talk about preconception. 

At this appointment, my IUD was removed, but talking about preconception health was limited. I was just told, “happy trying! Come back in a year if it doesn’t work.” 

I know a lot of people can relate to this. 

At this time, I didn’t have any major health concerns, but I was a nurse who worked the night shift and often felt heart palpitations around 4am on shift - YIKES! I was going through major weight fluctuations and was dealing with it by yoyo dieting. Also, I had my period maybe every 60 days. 

Right after I got my IUD out, I waited for our first opportunity to try by waiting for my period, eager to track my ovulation. But, I waited…. And waited…. And waited…. And waited…. 

90 days - No period. 

This was my first indication that this wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought. 

The Diagnosis

I had always been interested in integrative and functional medicine. In fact, I went to nursing school to get a solid medical background and experience so that I could pursue a career in more natural health and wellness. 

So, when I recognized I wasn’t going to get pregnant right away, I immediately looked for a practitioner who was more integrative and functional focused to start helping me. 

Unfortunately, not all practitioners are made the same. The practitioner I found was helpful - I won’t say she wasn’t. She got my nutrition under control the best she could without testing for nutrient needs. However, she really advised against any testing. She thought it was too expensive to justify and that I just hadn’t tried for long enough. 

She regularly said that I was “PCOS-y,” but that I should just eat like I have PCOS and that would be good enough - what does that even mean?! 

She also put me on a supplement that had helped her wife get pregnant. Which, I later found out that due to my hormones, was actually KEEPING ME FROM OVULATING. Just another reason to always test before you guess - more on that here.

Basically, working with her was about a half a step forward and several steps back and I decided to take matters into my own hands. 

I talked to every functional medicine person I could. I googled everything I knew to google and I started compiling information for myself to follow. But, this was still extremely confusing because there is a lot of conflicting information on the internet and I still didn’t really know where my current health stood. 

That is until I hit the one year mark of trying for baby and my OB was finally able to test my hormones. 

SURPRISE!!! (not really) I had PCOS.

I was diagnosed not because I had cystic ovaries, but because I had very high testosterone and very abnormal periods. If you’re interested in knowing a bit more about PCOS and what goes into the diagnosis, access you PCOS freebie below. 

Because I got my diagnosis and I knew some of my hormone levels, I could narrow down what my supplementation should look like, how I should be eating and exercising and this helped me make a lot of progress. 

A couple months after my PCOS diagnosis, I had my first regular length cycle and got my very first positive ovulation test. 

But I still wasn’t getting pregnant. 

The real work

Here is where things really started to turn around. 

I had followed a hormone and fertility specialized naturopath on Instagram for a while. She was research-based, she was integrative, she believed in testing before guessing and bio-individualization. I felt that she was my medical soulmate. 

I finally got up the nerve to schedule a call with her. I enrolled in her membership, which gave me access to functional lab testing, meetings with her health coach, and of course appointments with her. 

I even flew from Texas to Arizona to be able to meet with her! 

Everything changed when I finally got those lab tests done. I was able to change my stress levels, I was able to address insulin resistance, I was able to balance my micronutrients, minerals and vitamins. I began to heal. 

She recommended that I get started with acupuncture to help with stress and hormone balance as well.

Another amazing thing she and her health coach did for me was ask, “And why are you stressing yourself out and miserable nursing and not pursuing your dream of working as an integrative health practitioner?”

They were exactly right and so I began certification courses to become an Integrative Health Practitioner, which also helped me further heal myself as well as start to help other people! 

After a year of work with the naturopath’s practice, I had healed myself from PCOS symptoms completely. I was getting positive ovulation tests every month and having regular cycles! 

However, it seemed my body still needed a bit of a boost to help me to actually get pregnant. 

The Boost My Body Needed

The naturopath referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist that she trusted to work with me to create a solid plan and not just send me straight to IVF. 

I would have done IVF if I really needed it, but I just felt that I had come so far in healing and getting pregnant was definitely in reach. In addition, I wasn’t ready to put myself and my family through the financial, emotional, and physical toll that I know comes with IVF. 

So, the plan that the RE, my husband, and I agreed upon was to do three monitored cycles using timed intercourse, a medication to help optimize my ovulation and maybe a shot to trigger the release of an egg, IF NEEDED, and then reassess from there.

After one cycle just like this, I was pregnant! But, I wasn’t “super pregnant” as I explained it to my mom. My HCG (pregnancy hormone) level was 6 and it needs to be 5+ to be considered pregnant, and typically it’s way higher than that. 

That level rose to 7.5 over 24 hours (not a great sign) and then fell back down to 3 over 72 hours. 

I had had a chemical pregnancy. And I was devastated. 

However, I was ready to try again right away because SOMETHING HAD WORKED! Although I was so sad I had lost a pregnancy, I was so encouraged that I had gotten pregnant! 

So, I had my acupuncturist start my period ASAP so we could move on to the next cycle and did everything I knew to do to improve implantation. 

During the next cycle of monitored and medicated ovulation, everything went soooo smoothly. The follicles grew how and when they were supposed to, I could feel in my body that I was ovulating, that I implanted, and then… POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST! 

Like, really positive this time. And boy did that HCG level 10x 3 times - my husband was convinced there were two babies.

After three years of struggle, I got pregnant. 

During those three years, I often wondered if I was making a mistake by not going the medical route and just getting it over with quickly. It was hard and it was sad to not be pregnant month after month. 

But, now looking back, I can see all that I have done because of this journey. I have changed my career for the better. I have healed my PCOS. I have created a network of natural health and wellness practitioners that are amazing and helping women like me every day. AND I am having an extremely healthy pregnancy that might not have been possible if I hadn’t healed and balanced myself first. 

Being able to look back and feel positively about this difficult experience is the gift I have received by sharing this journey with you. 

If you feel that sharing your journey might be cathartic, I’d love to hear it from you. 

Please email me your story, if you feel compelled to share because it is such a great connector and can give a ton of perspective.